Crazy Careers



Career Advice on How to Become An Executioner

Do you really want to include executioner as part of your job search?  The bottom line is that waking up in the morning, putting on your pants (or even more disturbingly your skirt or pants suit), getting in your car and then throwing “the switch,” doesn’t seem like the best way to make a buck.  Consider for a moment that there are confirmed cases of people being put to death who were actually innocent.  Unfortunately, very unfortunately, there is no reset button in life.  We can’t just undo a mistake of that caliber.  Bottom line, do you really want this job?

Career Facts:

Either you will find this job stressful or you are a scary person.  A bad day at work is not making your sales quota or screwing up a proposal.  Imagine coming home and having your wife ask how your day was only to respond, “Oh it was horrible.  This guy just wouldn’t die.  I had to flip the switch six times.”  Yikes!

Making this entire even worse, most of time the job of executioner is part time, and doesn’t even pay very well. 

Career Opportunities and Job Outlook-Unknown:

Who knows what the future holds for your mild mannered executioner.  If states start abolishing the death penalty there will be less executioners, but if more states adopt the practice there will be more executioners.

A Day in The Life:

Most executioners have other jobs.  On the days that they have to “go into the executioner office,” they have to kill someone.  However, on all the days that no one needs to be executed, Jerry Springer, Tyra Banks, and TV microwave dinners it is!

Average Salary:

The pay varies from state to state, but is usually only a few hundred dollars per “job.”

Career Training and Qualifications:

Career planning for this job may vary as training varies depending on execution method.

Want to learn more about these careers?

2 Responses

  1. Kevin Vartanian says:

    this page doesnt help me, how do i become an executioner? as a sociopath it would seem like an easy way to make a quick buck… is “sadistic” a qualification?

  2. TurtleShroom says:

    This page doesn’t really help on becoming an executioner. It just tries to put anyone that wants to be one through the ultimate guilt trip.

    Personally, I think becoming an executioner would be a way to see whether or not one REALLY supports capital punishment.

    I once heard this saying: “Many can say how much they support capital punishment….. -but how many would actually pull the lever?”

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