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Mall Santa

Mall Santa

Career Advice on How to Become A Mall Santa

In order to become a Mall Santa, your career planning path must go as follows: you must make as many wrong turns in life as is possible without ending up homeless or dead.  The fact is that many Santa’s are often drunk. One cannot really blame them for this simple fact.  After all, how many times could you hear a spoiled child eagerly list out what goodies they want for Christmas without losing it?  The Mall Santa job is particularly hard on atheists, agnostics, Jews and others who do not follow a Christian belief system.

Career Facts:

Being a Mall Santa requires some real guts.  You know right at the moment of the first job search that you are going to take some serious abuse from children.  Many children see their encounter with the Mall Santa as a rare opportunity to let an adult have a serious level of disrespect.  This fact has been popularized in mass culture.  The Mall Santa job has been highlighted in numerous movies and sitcoms as a horrible job.  Often in these sitcoms and movies children are shown being horrible to the Mall Santa.  In short, this is no easy job.

Career Opportunities and Job Outlook-Good:

The Mall Santa is something of a tradition and an institution.  This means the job is likely to be with us in some form in the future.  The job outlook for this career is good.  Most Mall Santas don’t make it too long, so Mall managers are always looking for new replacements.

Job Outlook is Good

A Day in The Life:

A day in the life of a Mall Santa centers largely around abuse.

Average Salary:

One would think that a Mall Santa would pull in some serious money for all that abuse, but this is not the case.  Mall Santa’s rarely make more than $10 an hour.  This is no dream job.  However, if you feel disappointed about the Mall Santa’s salary, take a moment and consider what the Mall elves must be making.

Career Training and Qualifications:

The primarily requirement for this job is that one can at least act somewhat like the clichéd archetype of Santa.  You don’t even have to worry about being round, old or growing a white beard. All of these illusions are done through costume and make-up.

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2 Responses

  1. Adam says:

    Career Advice on How to Become A Mall Santa

    In order to become a Mall Santa, your career planning path must go as follows: you must make as many wrong turns in life as is possible without ending up homeless or dead. The fact is that many Santa’s are often drunk. One cannot really blame them for this simple fact. After all, how many times could you hear a spoiled child eagerly list out what goodies they want for Christmas without losing it? The Mall Santa job is particularly hard on atheists, agnostics, Jews and others who do not follow a Christian belief system.


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